


merry and bright

by smartbuckley



Series: Buddiemas 2019 [10]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Ableism, Buckley Parents - Freeform, Butlers, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Christmas Presents, Christmas Smut, Coming In Pants, Dad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parents Suck, Eventual Smut, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Families of Choice, Family Dinners, Gen, Getting Together, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mild Smut, Past Child Abuse, Protective Eddie Diaz, Protective Evan "Buck" Buckley, Rich Parents, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21863740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartbuckley/pseuds/smartbuckley
Summary: During the annual toy drive, Buck and Eddie get themselves into a little bit of trouble when Buck's mother turns out to be flirting with Eddie - right in front of his father. What comes next is dinner, bad parents, romance, and the true meaning of family.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Maddie Buckley/Howie “Chimney” Han
Series: Buddiemas 2019 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567336
Comments: 50
Kudos: 590
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	merry and bright

**Author's Note:**

> And finally, for day nine of buddiemas - family gatherings. I am super excited for all of you to read this whopper of a fanfiction. I never meant for it to get as long as it did, especially since it's now the longest one shot I've written for the 9-1-1 fandom, and in general - but once I had the idea, more ideas just kept coming to me, and this story proceeded to get longer and longer, which I definitely do not mind, lmao. This story is mainly fluff with some mild smut and some mild angst. Please heed the warnings - Buck's dad uses a homophobic slur once in regards to Buck, but then a derogatory ableist slur twice in regards to Christopher, so if that's going to trigger you in any way, please stay safe. Story is lightly beta-edited, and I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Lastly, if I missed any tags, please let me know immediately so I can edit the story with the proper tags.

The entire station is bursting with Christmas music while people walk around, conversations filling the air. There’s a coldness to the station that wouldn’t be expected with the amount of people inside it, but it’s something that Buck doesn’t find himself minding, grinning at the people who come to him looking for food. The station is running their annual toy drive again this year, and just like the previous year, Buck and Chim are running the food table. Off to the side, Buck watches as Eddie accepts the toys being donated, and he ignores the way his heart pounds inside his chest, handing a mug of coffee to someone, trying his best not to be distracted. 

The spirit of Christmas in the air definitely helps though, and as the moments pass by, Buck lets himself become lost in the hustle and bustle of people wanting food and drink, or helping people where to go for other things. The santa hat on his head itches, but Buck does his best to ignore it, moving it around every few minutes when he can. For a moment, he can hear Bobby’s voice in the mayhem of the building, but he doesn’t see the captain and goes about helping out when he can, looking at Eddie every few minutes when he can, because he can. 

With everything that’s happened - from the tsunami, to the lawyer, and then the street fighting, the duo of best friends are only now becoming the way they were before, though Buck would be blind and stupid and if he didn’t admit to himself that he sometimes hoped and wished for something more. He knew though, of course, that Eddie would never return the blossoming feelings he had for him, so Buck stayed quiet.

He didn’t want to - he could feel the ache growing in his chest every moment he kept this from his best friend, because they  _ were _ best friends again, but he knew that he couldn’t ruin what they were getting back, and admitting that Buck had gone and fallen in love with Eddie would certainly do that. Even if he thought he saw Eddie staring at him fondly - he was usually with Christopher when that happened, so Buck could attribute it to Eddie staring at Christopher fondly. Didn’t stop his heart from working triple time when it happened though, and sometimes, Buck hated how that made him feel. 

He went back to focusing on the line up in front of him, nodding briefly when Chim mentions that he's going to take his break and the line seems to grow, but he gets used to it, sets a pace that works for him and everyone else, and continues onward, blowing out a breath until Chim comes back.

Buck blinks when he notices his sister, grinning in response as she steps up next to him and nudges him.

“Go take a break, Buck. I’ve got this for now,” Maddie teases and Buck almost wants to deny her, because she’s just a volunteer and this is his job, but Chim gives him a look and then looks towards the toy drive area, where Eddie is standing with a grinning and giggling Christopher, and Buck can’t help but nod and make his way over to his favorite boys.

He knows, as he walks over to Eddie and Christopher, that he’s probably being obvious to everyone when it comes to his feelings in regards to Eddie -- he’s always grinning so wide when he sees Eddie, especially Christopher. He always talks about the two of them, to the point where he  _ knows _ everyone else has been exasperated with him. Hell, last Christmas definitely wasn’t the only time someone thought Christopher was his son alongside Eddie’s, and it definitely wasn’t the only time Buck didn’t deny it, either.

So yeah, Buck knows he’s being obvious, but then Eddie goes and gives him the look he’s getting now, and something inside his chest makes his heart go haywire, and what else is Buck supposed to do or think? Is he just supposed to ignore it? Buck doesn’t believe so, doesn’t  _ want _ to believe so. So he continues acting the way he is, because he doesn’t want Eddie to make things change in a worse way. 

But the moment he reaches Christopher, he reacts on instinct, picking the younger Diaz up and twirling him with a grin, laughing when Christopher begins to giggle, arms wrapped around his neck. It takes him a moment to stop being dizzy once he’s done spinning, eyes widening as he sees how close Eddie is to him, how soft he’s being looked at and Buck can only gulp before shifting his hold on Christopher, grinning towards the kid before looking back towards Eddie and softening his own look in response.

“I’ve been told to take a break,” Buck chuckles, and he’s sure his cheeks turned red when he takes a moment to look down and take a breath before looking back at Eddie with his own version of a soft smile. Eddie doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, or what feels like a few minutes, and Buck wants to say something so he opens and closes his mouth a few times, clearing his throat before turning towards Christopher who is still giggling.

“What do you find so funny, superman?” Buck teases, briefly looking towards Eddie, who snorts in response. Buck can’t help but stick his tongue out at Eddie, which only causes Christopher to giggle even more. Turning towards him, Buck waits patiently, shifting Christopher once more, taking note of the song playing above them.

“You and -- and Daddy were both told to -- to take a break,” Christopher squeals when Buck eventually tickles his stomach, and Buck can’t help but look at Eddie with his one eyebrow arched upwards in surprise, but he doesn’t comment on it, knowing that their teammates are always trying to get them to take breaks together on heavy activity days like today.

Taking note of Eddie’s shrug in response, Buck turns back to Christopher with a soft smile, humming as he tries to think of a response for the little boy he’s grown to love a whole bunch.

“Well, sometimes that happens, bud,” Buck ends up saying, not sure what else he  _ could _ say in this moment. He knows he would say more if he could, but looking at Eddie, he doesn’t see any signs that Eddie isn’t happy, so he finds himself grinning at Christopher, before placing him down gently when he begins to squirm.

“How -- how long is -- is your break?” Christopher asks and Buck finds himself shrugging, looking towards Eddie quickly and then Bobby, whose off to the side, talking to Athena, and he bites his lower lip before letting out a soft breath.

“Probably fifteen minutes?” Buck replies, voice soft as Eddie nods. 

“Why don’t we go sit down in the back, have a healthy snack?” Eddie suggests, though it’s not so much of a suggestion in regards to Christopher, who only wrinkles his nose before nodding and following Eddie. Buck can’t help but stare at the two of them as they walk away, his eyes and the grin on his face softening as he watches the two people he considers his true family walking away. If you had told him a year ago, or even six months ago, that he was feeling this way, he wouldn’t have completely believed you but now --  _ now _ , he knows it’s all he can think about and he would agree with anyone who tells him that.

“Are you coming, Buck?” Eddie questions, turning his head to look at Buck as he and Christopher wait for him at the door to the private area that’s been set up. Buck can’t stop himself from grinning and making his way over to the duo, his heart racing as the Christmas music changes once more.

The time flies by and before Buck knows it, their fifteen minute break is over and all three of them are making their way back to the tables spread out in the main hall. It seems like it’s gotten louder out there, and Buck notices how Christopher cringres back and he can’t help but squeeze his shoulders and look towards Eddie, biting the inside of his cheek as he wonders if maybe the little dude should stay in the break room for a little while.

“Chris, do you want your noise cancelling headphones?” Eddie asks and Buck feels proud when Christopher shakes his head but still worried, and as they finally arrive at the tables, he doesn’t stop himself from lifting Christopher up to sit on the table in front of him, tickling his stomach to try and get Christopher to giggle, which he’s very successful at, thankfully.

Buck can’t stop the grin from breaking through though, especially when Eddie grinned back at him and makes his heart do the one thing he hates when he’s around Eddie. He doesn’t let it distract him though, slowly letting out a breath and looking away, praying he’s not as red as he feels. It’s not like Eddie did anything  _ amazing _ . He just grinned at Buck, and that alone has the young man going crazy.

How he’s ever going to survive, he doesn’t know. But he will try his damndest, he knows that.

“You want to accept toy donations with us, buddy?” Eddie asks, and Buck can’t help the sound that comes out of his throat as he turns towards Maddie and Chim, completely red, narrowing his eyes at them when he sees them trying to stifle their laughter.

“Shut it,” he whines silently, grabbing the water bottle he left by Maddie’s side earlier and taking a few gulps from it as Maddie continues to giggle.

“You alright if I stay and help you?” Maddie asks and Buck nods, nudging his older sister and grinning at her. The two of them work in tangent, handing out food and drinks while Chim works between them and Eddie, helping Eddie with the toys being donated on the off chance that it gets busy for him.

(And by busy, Buck means the attractive women in the toy drive coming up to Eddie to flirt with him. Which Buck doesn’t get jealous over, nope, absolutely not).

He’s being obvious though because after the fifth time looking over at Eddie and woman number who knows what, Maddie nudges him and rolls her eyes at him with a playful grin on her face, which only causes Buck’s hackles to rise.

“Why don’t you just go over there and stake a claim at the man, with all of the jealous glaring you’re doing.” Buck opens and closes his mouth, planning on saying something, but decides, with a shrug, to do just that, walking over to Eddie and leaving Maddie with Chim, ignoring the way Eddie’s eyes seem to brighten when he’s spotted.

“I’ve been relocated into helping my favorite Diaz boys,” Buck grins, nudging Eddie lightly and high-fiving Christopher, who grins at him momentarily before he starts accepting the toys that are coming in.

A few times, he spots Eddie asking for help with a flirting woman, and while Christopher giggles, Buck goes to Eddie’s aid, and the favor is definitely returned the few times some women flirt with Buck, and he still finds it hilarious that he doesn’t want to be flirted with in general anymore, unless it’s by  _ Eddie _ . 

“So hey, do you want to come over afterwards? Help Christopher and I bake some Christmas treats?” Eddie asks during a moment of slowness and Buck looks over at Eddie with a smile, accepting one of the toy donations and placing the toy in the bin behind him.

“How could I ever say no to cookie decorating and baking with my favorite Diaz?” Buck asks, fingers ruffling Christopher’s hair while the kid laughs and moves away.

“Oh so now  _ he’s _ your favorite Diaz, and you don’t have two of us?” Eddie questions, a small smirk on his face as Buck laughs, eyes widening momentarily in surprise before he shakes his head. That’s another thing that’s new between them, he thinks - the blatant flirting. Before, it wasn’t as obvious when one of them flirted with the other. Sometimes their words could be taken as just being friendly, sometimes it could be taken as something  _ more _ but ever since they got back to being on the same side after the street fighting, flirting between the two of them have been --

Well, it’s been something that Buck looks forward to and can’t help but wonder if it’s just flirting, or if it’s become more aggressive because Eddie wants something to happen between them.

And while Buck knows  _ he _ wants something to happen between them - he can’t be the one to make a move. Not now, he thinks. Not when Eddie is no doubt still mourning Shannon. Shaking the thoughts away, Buck lets himself get distracted by the next few toy donations, moving around Eddie every few minutes, thankful for no new women coming to flirt with either of them.

Buck gets lost in the hustle and bustle for a little while, collecting toys and taking down names, so much so that he loses track of the time that’s passing. Eventually, the people in the fire station begin to wind down so that there’s less than twenty people scattered around and Buck isn’t completely paying attention to whomever is flirting with Eddie, though he does watch carefully in case Eddie needs a quick exit.

The few times he looks over though, it seems like Eddie is alright, so Buck lets himself get completely distracted by the people in front of him and then eventually, by teasing his sister like he used to do way before Doug had gone and ruined things. Shaking the dark thoughts that begin to make their way through his mind, Buck turns towards his sister and opens his mouth to say something, only to furrow his brow when he notices Maddie looking at something beyond his shoulder.

Turning, he himself begins to frown and tilts his head, noticing the woman flirting with a very awkward looking Eddie. He almost wants to laugh, but stops himself, feeling weird, choosing instead, to listen to what the woman is saying, heart pounding inside his chest.

“I bet you save a lot of people, with how strong you look,” the woman giggles, her fingers trailing up Eddie’s biceps. Buck finds himself frowning, stepping closer to his friend, eyes trailing to Christopher, who shifts on the table, clearly uncomfortable. 

“I bet you have all the women hanging off of you, too. Probably have to bat them off like pests,” the woman adds with a giggle and Buck feels a shiver of coldness go up his spine. His entire body tenses, Maddie right next to him with her hand on his wrist, trying to pull him back to her, but he shakes her off, ignores how she follows his footsteps towards Eddie, Christopher and the all too familiar woman whose fingers have moved to his chest.

“Maddie,” he whispers, his gaze moving to the woman’s side, where he’s not surprised to see a tall man standing, his figure imposing. The woman is wearing a black dress, and Buck wants to roll his eyes because while LA is nice, the weather outside is certainly not dress weather. The man is wearing what looks like a suit and Buck can’t help but let out a small sigh when he realizes there is not a single wrinkle in sight. Like always, the two people in front are dressed to impressed, because god help them if someone saw them looking unbecoming. Buck wants to flinch, but the woman lets out a laugh, similar to that of a hyena and he can’t stop himself from moving forward, picking Christopher up and holding him against his hip, smiling at him softly while looking at Eddie, ignoring the two people in front of the table.

“Everything alright?” He asks, and by the way Eddie looks at him, Buck knows he’s going to be questioned about why his voice is tight, and why his heart is racing and why Maddie is  _ hiding _ for fucks sake, and Buck would love to tell Eddie, but he shakes his head, and then arches his eyebrows, hoping Eddie answers him soon. 

“Yeah, as fine as it can be,” Eddie responds after looking at Buck carefully, and Buck swears his entire body becomes alight with something as Eddie’s gaze travels up and down his body before he moves forward, fingers running through Christopher’s hair.

“Are  _ you _ alright?” Eddie asks, voice barely loud enough for anyone to hear, but Buck does because of how close Eddie is to him, and biting his lower lip, he lets out a small nod before turning his eyes towards the woman and man in front of the table, not surprised to see them glaring. Buck notices the way Eddie takes note of how tense the woman now appears to be, especially when he looks towards Buck and Buck -- Buck shifts Christopher on his hip once more, looking towards Maddie and then blowing out a breath.

“Are you good, Christopher?” Buck finds himself questioning, unable to stop himself from tickling the kid, smiling when Christopher giggles and rests his head on his shoulder. He ignores the looks of surprise and turns towards Eddie with a small smile.

“Looks like we’re all good, Eds,” Buck responds, voice soft as Eddie grins at him before turning towards the woman.

“Were you looking to donate some toys for our drive?” Eddie asks and Buck feels his heart soar at how Eddie looks, but before he can even think about it further, he notices he’s being glared at, to the point where he can’t really ignore it. Eddie also notices it though, and before Buck can even think about finding a way to respond to the woman in front of them, Eddie clears his throat.

“Because if not, there’s food next to us, and then activities around the rest of the room. But this table is mainly for donating toys,” Eddie finishes, shrugging his shoulders while smiling and Buck -- Buck wants to hug his best friend, because even though Eddie has no clue what’s going on, he’s doing his best to keep Buck calm and away from the man and woman in front of them.

Even if he has no idea who they are.

“Why can’t I just stay by your side and watch you work your muscles accepting toys?” Buck can’t help but roll his eyes, especially when Christopher giggles in response and he looks towards the little man before stepping forward.

“Maybe because no one likes being ogled at while working,” He says, arching his one eyebrow while ignoring the way he turns red when Eddie turns to look towards him with a little smirk. He knows what he said is a little hypocritical, since Eddie has caught him ogling the other man numerous times, but Eddie has never been uncomfortable with it, like the way he is now, so he can’t  _ really _ help himself.

“Oh, I highly doubt he minds,” Hen chuckles from somewhere behind them and Buck wants to frown at his friend but before he can even turn his head, the man in front of them is clearing his throat.

“I didn’t realize you were here in Los Angeles.”

“How could you have realized when you never bothered returning my calls? Or Maddies?” Buck snaps, his eyes narrowing as he notices everyone tense at his words, and Maddie step forward, obviously finding the right time to do so at them.

“Hi Dad. Hi Mom,” she says, stepping behind Buck and squeezing his arm before ruffling Christopher’s hair and then glaring at their parents.

“I’d say it’s nice to see you, but well -- it’s not.” Maddie finishes with a shrug of her shoulders and Buck wants to beam at his sister if only because once upon a time, they both looked at their parents in the hopes of having their approval and now, it’s clear, Maddie doesn’t give a damn. Buck can see his parents stiffen and he wants to laugh in their faces but instead, he turns towards Christopher, who has started to shift in his arms.

“Everything alright, buddy?” Buck asks, voice soft as Christopher shrugs, looking away with red cheeks.

“I need to go,” he whispers, biting his lower lip and Buck understands immediately, kissing the top of his head with a small smile. Carefully setting Christopher down, he grabs the crutches that Eddie had placed elsewhere while Christopher sat on the table, helping the little man for a few minutes before he begins walking towards the bathrooms that are private for the station members, a small smile on his face while Eddie stands next to him.

“Didn’t realize you had a crip for a son,” Buck immediately feels himself tensing, hands curled into fists as he straightens his entire body, eyes narrowing as anger courses through him. He doesn’t realize he’s taken a step forward until his knee is slamming into the table and he’s cringing, but Eddie’s holding him back with an equally fierce glare of his own and Buck tries very hard not to grin at his best friend.

“We don’t accept that kind of language around here,” Eddie states, and his voice is full of something that Buck can’t place, mainly because he’s never seen an angry Eddie when it comes to Chris, and there’s something in him that shivers at the sight, but is also really proud of being trusted enough to see it. The moment his father’s gaze turns towards Eddie though, Buck finds himself letting out a small growl, arms folded in front of his chest.

“You don’t get to look at him. You don’t  _ deserve _ to look at him. Not after what you just said,” Buck states, a thrill shooting up his spine when his father lets out a huff. It’s something he always wanted to work on growing up - standing up to his father, especially when it mattered most and when it comes to Eddie and Christopher, they definitely matter most.

“Who gives you the right to decide--” Buck’s dad begins, only to be interrupted by Eddie.

“He does. He has the right to decide, especially after the way you insulted  _ our _ son,” Eddie hisses and Buck hopes to god his face doesn’t make any obvious gesticulations at Eddie’s words because the moment Eddie emphasizes the word  _ our _ , Buck swears he can feel something rush through his system.

Pride, love, happiness. So many emotions, and Buck doesn’t know which one to think about first, so instead he looks towards his father, ignoring the look of disgust on his mother’s face.

“ _ Your _ son? What else have you been hiding from us, Evan?” His father questions and Buck can feel himself cringe backwards at the mention of his name.

“It’s  _ Buck _ . He’s reminded you plenty of times before we stopped trying to contact you,” Maddie snaps, making herself known once more while their mother huffs out a breath at her. Buck turns to look at her quickly with a grin before he looks back at Eddie, and then his parents.

“Oh, I’m sure you think I’ve been hiding  _ plenty _ , but seeing as you never really  _ bother _ answering your phone the times I’ve tried calling, it’s not really my fault.” Buck responds back, voice barely a hiss so none of the other customers in the building can hear the drama unfolding. He notices Bobby and Athena off in the corner, distracting Christopher and the kids, and Buck is thankful for that, especially since it seems like Christopher is done in the washroom and wants to get back to them as soon as possible. Hen and Chim are on Buck’s other side, Chim next to Maddie, lending her as much support as she needs.

Buck can see how uncomfortable his parents are at that reminder, and he can’t help but grin towards Eddie, who only smiles back and then shakes his head a little in amusement, nudging him and then squeezing his hip in a form of support. He knows his mother has seen the movement by the way she hisses, and Buck doesn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes.

“I see nothing has changed between the two of you, then, since you were flirting with my -- Eddie, here,” Buck says, making a noise in the back of his throat when everyone’s eyes turn towards him at his near slip up. He can see the way his mother’s eyes squint and then widen in a form of victory and he just  _ knows _ that because of his change from  _ my _ to Eddie, she’s going to continue flirting with his best friend.

He ignores the heat that’s coming up his spine though when Eddie nudges him, trying his hardest not to look down, knowing his parents both see that as a weakness.

“Your what, dear? Don’t think he minded the flirting too much,” Buck’s mom smirks, her arms coming up her chest and pushing it upwards as she leans forwards. Buck can feel Eddie cringe back, and goes to open his mouth to tell her off, but Eddie beats him to it.

“His  _ fiancee _ , ma’am. And I really did mind the flirting.” Buck tries not to turn even red or tense at Eddie, but instead, turns towards the man and lets out a small smile when he sees Eddie looking at him with worry in his eyes. Buck can see the moment Eddie relaxes, and he can’t help but wonder what Eddie sees in him that has him relaxing but he looks back towards his parents with a frown, moving his body slightly.

“Are you guys donating toys or? Because you’re holding everyone else up,” Buck says, nodding to the line that’s started to form while his parents have been doing what they do best. Buck’s dad sputters and his mom huffs before they look at each other and then back at Maddie and Buck.

“We’ll leave, we can see you’re... _ busy _ ,” Buck’s mother simpers and Buck nearly rolls his eyes.

“We’ll also see you at our annual Christmas Dinner on the 24th 6:30, Evan. Don’t be late,” His dad says, giving Buck a glare and then Eddie, before arching his eyebrow at Maddie. “You and your... _ boyfriend _ as well, Madeline,” he adds, huffing, before turning around with his wife’s arm linked in his, walking away while standing as tall as possible.

“Well, Eddie --” Buck says with a soft sigh, shrugging his shoulders.

“Those were our parents. Richard and Evelyn Buckley.” Buck finishes, trying to smile but knowing he’s grimacing more than anything. He can see Eddie frown momentarily before he nods, letting out a breath.

“I’d say it’s nice to meet them but uh, I guess it’s not?” Eddie finishes, his voice trailing off into a question as Buck lets out a snort and shakes his head.

“I’ll explain to you after,” Buck whispers, nudging Eddie with a smile before they turn back towards the line that was being held up, beginning to accept the overflow of toys that are being donated and accepted. The rest of their shift flies by, though Buck notices everyone looking at him and Maddie carefully a few times, but he shrugs the looks off, knowing that Maddie will explain everything to Chimney later, and he’ll explain to Eddie later, and eventually, they’ll both explain to everyone else later. Right now, his focus is on the current moment and nothing else.

Like how Eddie called himself his  _ fiancee _ , to his  _ father _ . That will be an interesting memory to think about when he’s alone, he thinks with a small chuckle to himself.

* * *

By the time their shift is over, the station has been nearly cleaned up from the mess, a few stray banners and wrapping papers left around the large room. Buck finds himself exhausted and ready to go home for the night before he remembers that not only does he need to shower, but he promised to go over to Eddie’s and help bake treats with Christopher and him. A soft smile forms on his face as he remembers the plans for tonight, excitement coursing through him over spending time with Eddie and Christopher, but he is still exhausted. 

Making his way to the locker room, Buck spots Eddie and lets out a grin, moving a little faster towards his best friend before nudging his shoulder softly. 

“Do I have any spare clothes at your place? Kind of just want to leave, and I’m  _ exhausted _ man.” Buck says, opening his locker but not going through it on the off chance Eddie says there’s no clothes at his place, which would man he’d have to shower here and then go home and pack some clothes for the next night and shift. Eddie remains quiet for a moment, and Buck knows he’s thinking but the next few minutes pass silently and Buck begins to get antsy before Eddie turns towards him fully.

“Yeah, pretty sure you do. But if you don’t, you can just wear some of my clothes, man,” Eddie adds and Buck, trying his hardest not to turn red at the idea and the pure  _ want _ of wearing Eddie’s clothes, hums out softly in response.

“Will your clothes even fit me?” He asks playfully, grabbing a few things from his locker like his wallet, keys and phone before turning towards Eddie and watching him grab the same. Buck remains quiet while he watches, wanting to talk to Eddie about earlier today but not sure how to even begin. It’s been about four hours since his parents were in the building, and a couple of hours since Carla came by to take Christopher home for the rest of the time and Buck still hasn’t found a good enough time to talk to Eddie about everything.

“Don’t see why they wouldn’t. You haven’t gained the weight back from before --- everything,” Eddie responds slowly, biting on his lower lip as he nearly mentions the lawsuit and the street fighting and really, everything is a good word to encapsulate what they’ve both gone through.

“You uh, you can call it what it is, you know,” Buck teases, leaning against the locker once he shuts it with a small smirk while Eddie looks at him in exasperation. He can see the way Eddie hesitates though afterwards, and he knows Eddie wants to say something, so he waits patiently, ignoring the Christmas music still playing around the building.

“I know I can. I just don’t like remembering how it all went down, and how I failed you as a friend. Because I did, man. And I know you feel like you’ll never be able to apologize enough, but I feel the same way,” Eddie says with a shrug of his shoulders and Buck bites the inside of his cheek before he wraps his hand around Eddie’s wrist and squeezes, a small smile on display.

“I know, man.” He whispers, and part of him wonders if Eddie realizes what he’s really saying --  _ i love you, don’t worry about it _ , but he doesn’t dare ask, if only because of how good of a spot they’re in right now.

“So you’ll follow me in your car?” Eddie asks, nodding towards Buck’s keys in his hands while Buck nods his head with a small smile, twirling his keys before stopping and holding them lightly. 

“Yeah, I’ll follow you over in my car. You have everything for baking and decorating?” Buck asks, remembering Halloween when Eddie thought he did but didn’t. Sure, they might have not been really talking then, but Buck had heard all about it once they finally  _ were _ talking, and he couldn’t stop himself from teasing the other man with a small smirk as he begins making his way towards the doors, Eddie following after a moment of sputtering.

“Hey now,  _ one time _ . It happened once, and I don’t need your reminders, thank you very much,” Eddie laughs while Buck hums and chuckles.

“Not hearing a confirmation there, man,” Buck responds, turning once he reaches his jeep and waits for Eddie, who is laughing and shaking his head with a fond look on his face.

“Yeah, yeah, I have everything needed. And if I don’t, I’ll just send you out to grab things,” Eddie adds with a grin as Buck lets out his own laugh.

“Meet you at home?” Eddie asks and Buck nods, his smile becoming soft as he begins to feel like there’s a frog in his throat while Eddie gets into his car and drives off. Buck doesn’t know if Eddie meant to say at home, but as Buck’s heart pounds inside his chest, he finds himself hoping, if anything, that things are moving forward and Eddie is meaning everything he’s saying.

The drive over to Eddie’s is boring, Buck changing radio stations every time a Christmas song he’s not a fan of comes on over the radio. Generally speaking, he’s in a good mood, hands tapping out the rhythms of the songs on his steering wheel. It doesn’t take the normal amount of time it normally would since the traffic isn’t as bad as it normally is, and Buck finds himself thankful when he parks into the driveway of Eddie’s home, a grin forming on his face when Eddie opens the door and Christopher comes barreling out with his own grin.

Getting out of his jeep quickly, Buck throws his arms open just in time for Christopher to enter them, bringing the kid up and twirling him once more, laughter escaping the both of them as Buck closes the door to his jeep with his leg before making his way towards Eddie. He feels like he’s coming home, and it’s a feeling he never wants to forget.

After a few minutes, Buck puts Christopher down carefully and the two of them head towards Eddie, and Buck tries to ignore the way his heart flutters at the look Eddie is wearing when Buck allows himself to look.

“I hope you’re ready for some ultimate decorating,” Eddie teases and Buck can’t stop the laugh from escaping, especially when Christopher throws his head back and laughs himself. Everything feels perfect in this moment and as the three of them enter the home, Buck can’t stop himself from wishing that the moment never changes and continues on for as long as possible.

“Oh, I am  _ more _ than ready, man,” Buck responds back with a grin and a wink towards Christopher, who giggles before sitting down on the ground in front of the table where everything is carefully laid out. 

“Well then, get prepared for the ultimate decorating showdown,” Eddie teases while Buck lets out a small snort before he places his stuff down on the counter by the front door, immediately going over to the kitchen area and grabbing a glass of water from Eddie.

“You mind if I change first? Want to be comfortable, and all of that,” Buck asks, grinning when Eddie nods.

“Spare clothes should be in the top drawer, man,” Eddie adds as Buck begins to make his way to Eddie’s room. While he’s been here plenty of times before, there’s something about tonight that makes Buck feel completely different, on the precipice of something that he doesn’t quite understand. Opening the top drawer to Eddie’s dresser, in his room -- Buck feels like he’s intruding, even though he knows he’s not. He knows he’s in no way intruding, but being in this room, with the lights off, going through the drawers -- having that  _ trust _ \-- it makes something inside of Buck pound with an unknown emotion.

Taking in a deep breath, Buck grabs the first set sweats and long sleeved shirt that he sees before making his way to the bathroom and turning the shower on. He undresses quickly, carefully stepping under the hot water and his body relaxes immediately, shoulders slumping as a small groan is released while he does so.

He tries his hardest not to think about all of the timed Eddie himself has been in this shower, tries not to think about Eddie naked in general, his hand sliding down his abs before resting above his cock, already hard before he lets out a small groan and takes a deep breath, turning the water to cold so he can hurry up out of the shower. He doesn’t stay in the shower for very long, drying himself off before putting the clothes he borrowed on, unable to stop himself from smelling them as he does so, smiling as the remnants of Eddie come through.

Grabbing his own clothes from the floor of the bathroom, Buck opens the door, nearly jumping in surprise when he opens it to Eddie right outside, who is clearly surprised and holding a spare bag.

“For your clothes,” Eddie says, voice barely above a whisper as Buck nods and gulps, taking the bag with a small smile and placing his clothes inside. He can feel something coursing through his body and he looks up at Eddie, biting his lower lip before letting out a soft breath.

“I wasn’t too long?”

“No, not at all.” Eddie responds, smiling before looking away. There’s a tension between the two of them and Buck -- Buck doesn’t know what to do about it.

“Are you ready to decorate?” He ends up asking after a moment, side-stepping his best friend with a gentle nudge and a smile, unable to stop himself from watching Eddie carefully. The two make their way from the bathroom to the main room, Christopher spotting them and grinning, clearly ready to decorate with  _ How the Grinch Stole Christmas _ playing on in the background, Christopher’s favorite movie at the moment. Scattered all around the table are the cookies that were baked earlier when Carla had taken Christopher home, and then the icings that were made, alongside sprinkles and candy for decorations and who knows what else.

Walking carefully to the area, Buck sits at the head of the table, closest to the door, with Eddie on his left, leaving Christopher to his right, and Buck feels at peace as he grins at Christopher and grabs a santa cookie and a plastic knife before setting both down at the look Eddie gives him with a small shrug of his shoulders.

“Alright, Christopher, do you remember the rules?” Eddie asks and Buck turns towards Chris with a serious look on his face, knowing that this is an important moment for them both.

“Ye -- yes,” Christopher states with a nod of his head while Buck finds himself smiling into his chest. “We -- we pick up the knives for icing - icing carefully. And we don’t mix colors - you and Bucky do that,” Christopher says with a grin while Buck hums and runs his fingers through Christopher’s hair, causing the little man to laugh and grin up at him.

“What else are you missing, Chris?” Buck says softly, knowing that Eddie had one more guideline for Christopher. He watches as Chris frowns, head tilted before he looks at his father with a grin.

“A finished cookie must -- must not just be icing,” He giggles when Eddie nods, lifting his hand up for a high five, which Christopher gladly responds to.

“Alright, let’s get this party started,” Buck exclaims, turning the television volume up a little bit before everyone begins grabbing cookies and icing. The three of them begin working on their cookies, Eddie having grabbed a reindeer and Christopher a snowman, with Buck and Eddie mixing a few colors immediately on the off chance that Christopher wants a specific color and they don’t have to stop themselves and their own decorating.

Buck doesn’t know how much time passes as the three of them continue to decorate their cookies, but the time passes by for them in a string of laughter, and eventually, Christmas music, when the movie playing ends. They continue to decorate numerous cookies, before eventually, Christopher ends up having more icing on his hands and face, causing Buck to let out a loud burst of laughter and place a blob of icing on his nose, which only makes Eddie chuckle.

“Maybe it’s best we freeze these and then clean you up, yeah buddy?” Eddie suggests, picking Christopher with a squeal while Christopher giggles and Buck stands up himself, grabbing the cookies they made carefully and heading towards the kitchen with them. Buck gets lost in the redundancy of placing the cookies onto a glass plate instead of plastic one, and then wrapping the plates up in a protective cover before placing them in Eddie’s freezer. He nearly pauses during all of this though when he realizes just how well he knows his way around Eddie’s home. He shakes the thoughts away though and continues cleaning up, stretching his bad leg every few minutes while hearing Eddie and Christopher in the other room.

When Eddie finally comes into the room, Buck has cleaned up most of the tubes of icing, all of the cookies are in the freezer and most of the dishes they had made are in the sink, which is filled with water and soap, though Buck knows Eddie has a dishwasher.

“He wanted me to read him like, three stories,” Eddie chuckles and Buck can’t help but smile at the older man, looking at the filled sink with a small amount of hesitancy on his face.

“And you probably did, because Christopher has us both wrapped around his finger,” Buck snorts while Eddie grumbles and nudges his shoulder before placing his hands in the sink. Buck feels himself relax at that -- at the fact that Eddie automatically took over for him, like he knew that Buck needed someone else to do the dishes in this moment, too worried about remembering the tsunami right then.

“Oh, I definitely did. Be thankful he didn’t continue to ask for you,” Eddie teases, Buck looking up at the other man with wide eyes, still unable to believe that Christopher even asked for him as the days passed..

“What if I wanted him to?” Buck asks, looking at Eddie with wide eyes while Eddie looks at him. Buck swears he can feel something in the air between them, something reminiscent of Halloween and the night they stayed in playing games shortly after. It feels like something that’s been coming for so long, ready to pop and burst, and Buck doesn’t stop himself from stepping closer to Eddie, looking up at him from under his lashes, trying not to smile when he sees Eddie gulp.

He moves forward once more, can hear his breathing in the silence between the two of them and for one brief, splendid moment, Buck is pretty sure the two of them are going to move forward and kiss, but then Buck’s phone rings, causing both of them to jump apart in surprise, turning red and sputtering for a few minutes as Buck turns to his phone.

“Shit,” he whispers, pinching the bridge of his nose when he sees the series of texts that had interrupted his almost moment with Eddie. He sees Eddie look at him, and his shoulders slump forward as he nudges him.

“Texts from my mother. Don’t know how she got the number, but she has it now.” Buck whispers, looking up when Eddie squeezes his wrist.

“What do the texts say?” Eddie asks and the way he’s still holding onto Buck’s wrist grounds him in a way Buck didn’t think was possible, especially since the tsunami. Opening the messages, he reads through them quickly, grimacing shortly afterwards.

“The reminder of when to be there, where the house is, like I forgot where they moved, and to remember to bring Maddie, her boyfriend, and my family.” Buck finishes, gulping as he looks up at Eddie and bites the inside of his cheek, surprised to see the look of hesitancy in Eddie’s eyes.

“Was what I did alright? Earlier, I mean, in front of the -- your parents,” Eddie asks and Buck looks at Eddie with wide eyes, not having expected Eddie to even ask that. He opens and closes his mouth before smiling softly.

“I mean, yeah. As long as you don’t mind having to act like my fiance, or do fiancee-like things with me in front of my family,” Buck chuckled, stepping towards Eddie once more, the feeling of the pull between them getting strong once more as Eddie looks at him.

“We’ll have to talk about some things that my parents will probably expect you to know, but I don’t mind,” Buck ends up admitting, voice soft as he looks at Eddie, heart pounding inside his chest while Eddie looks back at him.

“We uh - we should finish this. So we can talk about what we need to talk about,” Eddie says after a few minutes while Buck nods, turning towards the sink.

“I’ll dry?” Buck asks, grabbing one of the towels while Eddie smirks and begins washing.

* * *

A little while later, Eddie and Buck are on the couch, legs entwined as they watch whatever’s playing on the television with low volume. Both of them don’t know what to say or what to do, acting in ways they’ve been terrified of doing since they first started feeling the way they feel, but neither one of them wants to put a stop to it, especially if it means removing the comfort they’re sharing.

“So, what are some things your parents will expect me to know?” Eddie asks after a few moments of silence, looking towards Buck with a small frown while Buck looks back, biting on his lower lip. He can’t help but think of a lot of things that his parents will try to use against him - moments from his past that he’s not proud of, or insecurities that only his parents could ever bring about in him.

Of course, he knows Eddie would never agree with them - would probably hate them on sight if he knew just truly how bad their neglect and emotional abuse had been but there’s still that little part of him that is unsure about everything.

Letting out a small huff of breath, Buck turns away from Eddie, taking a drink from his water before turning back to his friend, shrugging his shoulders. He can hear Silent Night playing through the television, and he looks over at the television, not sure how he can possibly answer Eddie’s question.

“Hey,” he hears, and then he’s surprised to feel hands on his chin and cheeks, Eddie turning his head so he can look at him. His cheeks turn red and Buck wonders how far his blush is running - both because he wants to  _ see _ Eddie, but also because he knows he’s blushing at the gesture himself. 

“You don’t have to tell me right now. You don’t have to tell me at all, if you don’t want to, Buck. I’m still going to be there for you, especially since it looks like my presence is required.” Eddie whispers and Buck tries hard not to cry - everyone he’s ever grown close to has ended up leaving him, especially when it mattered most and Eddie ---

Eddie  _ isn’t _ . And sure, they’re not in an actual relationship, not actually engaged, like his parents think, but in this instance, Buck can’t help but think that it’s the thought that matters. And Eddie showing he’s not leaving means a whole lot to Buck.

“A lot of it is -- well, they believe things about me that would have you getting angry on my behalf. That I’m no good, or I’ll never get anywhere in life. That I’m wasting my time, or I’ll always be alone,” Buck says with a tilt of his head, trying not to think about the moments he had growing up where he believed them.

“They’ll expect us to be formally dressed, because they expect everyone to be dressed formally for any moment in life,” Buck snorts with a shake of his head while Eddie chuckles, no doubt remembering the outfits they were wearing earlier.

“That’s normal for them, then?” He asks, laughing even more when Buck nods his head with a roll of his eyes.

“They’ll ask you really invasive questions, all while my mother continues to flirt with you because my Dad doesn’t actually care and she --- she’s what she is.” Buck finishes with another shrug of his shoulders while Eddie frowns.

“She’d flirt with you even while knowing I’m technically your fiance?” Eddie asks, and Buck doesn’t stop the snort from escaping from him.

“She once slept with my college boyfriend, when we were still in Pennsylvania. Flirting is nothing for her,” he responds, trying to ignore the dark curl of heat that engulfs him at the look of anger and disgust he spots on Eddie’s face. He almost chuckles instead, shaking his head.

“The most important thing though? They’ll discredit me, try to make me angry, bring me down. They will do anything that’s possible to make me feel small, because that’s how they get their kicks. They’ll create lies, or bring up embarrassing stories. They’ll try the same thing with the people I love, because they know how angry it will get me,” Buck adds with a frown, turning towards Eddie completely. “It’s kind of why I don’t want Chris to come. God knows I love him, but they would be so cruel to him, Eds. And he sure as hell doesn’t deserve that,” Buck whispers, fingers running through his hair as he continues to frown.

“Well, it sounds like your parents are definitely something,” Eddie snorts in response, Buck chuckling while he moves into his best friends space a little, nudging Eddie but not moving any further, watching him curiously. “But as long as you’re by our side, man, Chris and I can definitely handle ourselves with your parents. And we’ll help you if you end up needing it,” Eddie finishes and Buck feels something inside of him soaring. He knows it’s his heart, knows it’s because no one in Buck’s life has ever said something like that to him, or been as serious about him enough to even feel that way, and Buck doesn’t know what to do about that, because if Eddie is saying that now, as his best friend --

What does that even mean, for them? 

“You have no idea how much that means to me, man,” Buck whispers, turning his head to look at Eddie and gulping. He wants to lean forward, wants to kiss Eddie, soft and slow but he doesn’t, pulling away at the last moment and clearing his throat.He looks away briefly, missing the look Eddie throws him before he closes his eyes and breathes, but when he looks back at Eddie, everything appears to be fine and Buck smiles.

“We should probably get ready for bed before we fall asleep on the couch again like last time,” Buck whispers, trying not to chuckle when Eddie grins response, remembering the same moment Buck is when, a few weeks ago, both of them fell asleep on the couch with their necks bent backwards. Waking up had been brutal, and both men had vowed to  _ never _ let that happen again.

“Yeah, and then in the morning, you’ll make those wonderful pancakes Christopher loves so much,” Eddie responds, nudging Buck softly while Buck smiles, nodding his head.

“Deal,” he whispers, hand coming up to squeeze Eddie’s neck before he makes his way to the guest room, waving goodnight at his best friend, wondering what the morning will bring.

* * *

The next couple of weeks go by quickly, Eddie and Buck’s relationship not changing completely. Sometimes Buck will mention something to Eddie for Eddie to look forward to at the dinner, sometimes he’ll mention something for Eddie to take note of as something that’s a warning. But overall, their relationship stays the same - they’re still very close, they’re still spending the nights with one another and, no matter how much both men wish for it, doing nothing but flirting in regards to their feelings, thinking the other doesn’t reciprocate in the way they want. 

Eventually though, it’s the day of the dinner and Buck  _ and _ Maddie are both a mess at the fire-station. The two of them have the day off from their respective jobs and are spending it at the station, and Buck knows they’re both distracting everyone with how jittery they’re acting.

But surely no one is surprised, because the dinner is later tonight and Buck -- Buck is  _ terrified  _ that when Eddie realizes just how bad is his family is, he’s going to turn tail and run from him, tell him that he can’t be in his life, or Christopher’s life, and Buck -- Buck’s been panicking thinking about that happen, even if he logically knows that Eddie would  _ never _ .

Taking a deep breath, Buck looks to his watch and bites his lower lip, his foot tapping incessantly as he lets out a groan. It’s only eleven in the morning, but they have to be on their way to his parent’s home by three, so they can get there by four, and dinner starts at four-thirty and Buck doesn’t know how bad the travelling will be this close to the holidays.

“Breath, Buck,” Maddie whispers, and Buck knows she’s going through her own panic, because of how often their parents truly reminded her of Doug, when she looked back and thought about it.

“Today is going to be  _ hell _ ,” Buck whispers while Maddie nods, letting out her own breath before they look towards one another and Buck moves his arm to wrap around Maddie’s shoulders, trying to offer as much comfort as possible. 

“We’ll have each other though. And you’ll have Eddie also. And I’ll have Chim,” Maddie whispers, letting out another breath while Buck nods, gulping as his nerves begin to grow.

“Do you think Mom and Dad are going to --” Buck begins, sucking back a breath before sucking on his teeth, trying to figure out how to say what he wants to say. He can feel Maddie’s eyes on him and he slowly lets out his breath, noticing Eddie upstairs and following him with his eyes before turning towards Maddie.

“What if Eddie decides I’m not worth it because of them?” Buck asks, voice small and he can see the moment Maddie understands. He doesn’t like talking about it, but the boyfriend from college had definitely messed him up. The guy had fucked his mom and then had convinced Buck to give him a second chance and then treated Buck exactly like his parents had treated him.

And even worse - had still been sleeping with his mother while doing so. Buck didn’t like remembering that time in his life before he left Pennsylvania for good, especially since he was barely twenty when it happened, but the things his ex had said -- they had stuck with Buck and now, Buck wasn’t sure if Eddie would want to handle the hassle of handling Buck.

“Hey, hey, Buck, c’mon,” Maddie says, and he feels her squeezing his hand and looks towards her, a frown on his face as he realizes he had gotten lost in thought.

“Sorry,” Buck whispers, smiling at his sister as she squeezes his hand once more.

“Buck, there’s no way in hell that Eddie would be convinced of anything by those awful people we need to call our parents, alright?” Maddie whispers and Buck gulps, looking at his older sister with wide eyes, shaking his head out of disbelief more than anything.

“Maddie--” Buck begins, only to stop with a shudder when she places her hand on his cheek, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“NO,” she says, firm enough that Buck just  _ knows _ everyone else has heard her and is looking over at them. His eyes widen a little more at her tone and he tenses his body briefly before shrinking into himself, until he hears Maddie sigh. Looking at her, Buck lets out his own snort before shrugging his shoulders.

“I just -- it’s  _ them _ , you know?” He says, and Maddie nods, knowing exactly what he means, and Buck finds himself so thankful for his sister, and he moves forward, hugging her for a brief moment.

“Thank you for dealing with me,” Buck whispers, ignoring the way Maddie chuckles and nods against him.

“Now, stop worrying, alright, Buck? Eddie loves you, and you’re stuck with him,” Maddie responds back, chuckling when Buck turns bright red.

“Do you think so?” Buck whispers, still red while Maddie rolls her eyes and smirks at him.

“If you have to ask me that, you’re being obtuse, Buckaroo,” Maddie responds, nudging him and grinning before moving away from him and heading towards Chim, whose just appeared while Eddie takes her place on the couch next to him.

“Hi,” Buck says with a grin, ignoring the way his stomach flutters when Eddie places his arm around his shoulders.

“Hi,” Eddie responds back with his own grin, fingers carefully playing with the edges of Buck’s hair, causing the man to tilt his head back and close his eyes without trying to moan in response.

Opening his eyes, Buck turns his head towards Eddie and with a soft smile, watches him for a moment before shaking his head and letting out a soft breath, “Are you ready for today?” Buck asks, nudging Eddie softly as Eddie turns towards him and smile.

“Yeah, as ready as I can be. I mean, I’m definitely not excited to have to deal with your mom flirting with me, and your dad glaring at you, or possibly hurting Christopher--” Eddie says with a tilt of his head before continuing, “But I’m kind of excited to see where you grew up, and I’m definitely excited to spend more time with you,” Eddie finishes while Buck smiles and then chuckles, nodding in response.

“Yeah, I’m not ready for any of that, either. And I didn’t really grow up here, don’t forget. You might not see a whole lot of that, but who knows. But spending more time with my favorite Diaz boys? Definitely something I’m excited for,” Buck responds with a chuckle while Eddie grins. The two stay quiet for a few minutes, just enjoying the presence of one another.

“Are you following me to my place?” Eddie asks with a small arch of his eyebrow and Buck nods, realizing he’s calmed down slightly since Eddie sat down next to him, and he tries hard not to look too much into it. The shift Eddie’s on ends relatively soon - and Buck is only here because he was hopeful that being here, surrounded by those he truly considers family, would help calm him down.

“I don’t have anything at my place - might as well go to yours, and hope I actually relax completely, yeah?” Buck chuckles, and Eddie nods, smiling softly at Buck, and Buck ignores the way his heart pounds in his chest, choosing instead, to focus on Maddie and Chimney in the corner.

“Do you know if he’s alright?” Buck asks, nodding towards Chimney, unable to stop himself from wondering if Maddie has let Chim know just how bad their parents are - and can be - towards people of color. Eddie turns towards Maddie and Chimney himself, and Buck can see him watching for a few minutes before he shrugs, stretching his arms out once more, and resting his one arm behind Buck’s shoulders, causing Buck to turn red and smile, happiness coursing through him.

“No idea, but if he isn’t, he’s got Maddie to help him through it the same way Christopher and I have you,” Eddie responds, his voice soft while Buck just completely melts into Eddie’s side, staring at his best friend with wide eyes and gulping. For so long -- since before the tsunami, admittedly - the two flirted over the line of just friends, never trying for anything more even though Buck was pretty sure Eddie had wanted more, just like he did. And then everything happened between them and it had taken Buck what felt like an eternity to be comfortable around Eddie again because of his insecurities.

And now, it was almost like they were right back where they were before the tsunami and Buck -- Buck wanted to lean forward and kiss Eddie, wanted to take Eddie out on dates and then go home with him, go to bed with him and be able to hold him.

And Buck wished hard that Eddie returned those thoughts.

“Buck, we’ve got to go,” Maddie interrupts his thoughts, and he tears his eyes away from Eddie, wondering, as he turns slightly red and Eddie jolts in his own surprise, how long the two of them were staring at one another, too lost in each other’s presence to do much of anything. The time had passed between Eddie’s answer and Maddie interrupting them, that Buck hadn’t realized it was time to leave the fire station so they could truly get ready.

Taking a deep breath, Buck nods, standing up and looking over at Eddie with a soft smile. “I’ll meet you at your place in about an hour, yeah?” He asks, biting his lower lip when Eddie nods. All Buck wants to do is lean forward and kiss Eddie, but he settles for a nod and a wave, turning red as he turns away and hears Eddie chuckling while Maddie smirks and Chimney arches his one eyebrow while he walks towards them.

“Shut it,” he whines quietly, head tilting back as the three of them make their way to the exit, and then Buck’s car, where they all enter so they can get driven to Buck’s apartment and finish getting ready.

* * *

It’s now closer to two thirty in the afternoon and Buck feels like a complete mess. He’s at Eddie’s, fingers trying to tie his tie, and he  _ knows _ he’s messing it up, which he finds completely unfair, because he knows he can do this - has been ever since Bobby taught him for his date with Abby, which seems like a lifetime ago, now that he thinks about it. He can hear Christopher giggling in the other room over something on the television, and can hear Eddie rummaging through his drawers behind him, and with a frustrated sigh, Buck turns his head in the mirror so he can get a good luck at Eddie, whose turned around to look at him with a small smirk.

“Do you need some help there, Buck?” Eddie teases, and Buck can’t stop the small laugh from escaping from him as he lets out a small nod before sucking back a breath when Eddie’s arms wrap around his waist, holding him for a moment. Their eyes meet in the mirror, Buck’s entire stance softening into Eddie’s hold as he relaxes completely, Eddie smiling at him through the mirror before his hips are squeezed. Eddie’s hands slowly come up and grab ahold of Buck’s tie, Buck slowly letting out his breath as he watches Eddie through the mirror. It feels like everything fades for Buck -- he knows that Christopher is in the room watching television while they get ready, but the background noise isn’t even  _ white _ noise for Buck at this point - it’s just the two of them, standing in front of the mirror, looking at one another like they’re the only ones in the world, and Buck --

Buck nearly falls with the weight of it all, but doesn’t, because Eddie’s still supporting him from behind, and Buck realizes, that Eddie’s always been supporting him, and Buck swears his heart grows three times as much as it should.

Slowly, Eddie finishes the tie, tightening it just enough so that Buck doesn’t feel like he’s being choked -- though that’s definitely something he wouldn’t mind, he thinks, looking at Eddie with a small smirk as Eddie’s fingers pause on his throat, almost like he can read his mind -- and then he’s stepping away and Buck feels like he can breath normal again, like he’s not running out of air and gasping for breath.

“We uh - we should probably get going, yeah?” Eddie asks, clearing his throat and Buck nods, humming softly before slowly walking past Eddie and into the hallway, knowing Eddie probably needs to breath himself. He’s by the front door quickly, rubbing his chest as he grabs his wallet and phone, shoving them into the pockets of the suit he had to pick up.

He hates it, he thinks - having to spend Christmas Eve at his parents - with his parents - in a damn stuffy suit, just like he did when he was a teenager. He’s thankful Maddie’s going to be there, even more thankful  _ Eddie _ is going to be there, if only because it’ll help Buck with the monotony of his parents’ dinners but at the same time, he would much rather stay at Eddie’s home, in their pajamas, watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate with no care in the world.

But he only has to stay for dinner, he thinks, clearing his throat and then turning when he hears Eddie making his way out of the room, eyes widening as he takes his best friend in. Eddie looks good, Buck thinks, eyes trailing down Eddie’s body, both of their faces turning red when Eddie clears his throat.

“Hi,” Buck squeaks while Eddie laughs, trying not to smirk, and Christopher giggles.

“Daddy, you look -- good,” he says and Eddie hums, kneeling down to fix Chris’ own bowtie, nodding his head in approval.

“So do you, bud,” Eddie voices, fingers running through Chris’ stylized hair lightly, not wanting to mess it up. “Shall we get ging?” He asks, and Buck nods, grinning towards Christopher when he holds his hand out.

Heading towards the car is easy, mainly because Buck is only bringing cards for his parents. He knows they won’t want anyone bringing food, or actual gifts, and that’s more than fine with Buck, planning on staying for dinner and that’s it, because he knows if he stays any longer, all hell might break loose.

And it does. Because of course it does.

* * *

The drive is fun - slow in the most perfect way Buck could think of, having them arrive fifteen minutes before his parents would consider him  _ late _ , and at the same time as Maddie and Chim, meaning there won’t be any awkwardness that would’ve been there otherwise. They sing songs while driving, Christopher giggling in the back every few minutes before he ends up asking questions. Buck tries his best to answer them in a way he can understand, especially with the talk he and Eddie had given Chris about Buck’s parents earlier on, but there was nothing that ruined the car ride, or made his apprehension about the night end up growing, thankfully. 

When they park the car and Buck sees Maddie and Chim next to him in the overly large driveway, Buck finds himself relaxing completely. He knows he’s only going to become more and more tense throughout the night, so he relishes the moment of relaxation he feels as they slowly make their way to the door of the mansion his parents bought.

“Wow,” Buck hears Christopher exclaim, causing Buck to let out a small chuckle and a hum, heart pounding as Eddie’s hand slips into his own before squeezing.

“So uh, your parents are  _ how _ loaded again?” Chimney asks and Buck snorts this time while Maddie groans.

“Loaded to the point where they own a mansion in every state, country or island they visit.” Maddie says, blowing out a breath before knocking on the door. They wait a few minutes - a few minutes too long, Buck thinks, as he shuffles on the spot - before the door is opened by the butler and Buck has to nudge Chim  _ and _ Eddie to stop them from audibly snorting.

“Master Evan, Mistress Madeline, welcome home. Your parents are waiting for you in the foyer to the left, and I will take your coats. For those who do not know, I am their butler, Louis.” Buck lets out a slow breath, smiling at Louis, remembering how often the older man was there for him and Maddie in a way their parents never were.

“Lou, this is Eddie, and hi -- our son, Chris,” Buck says, turning red when Eddie squeezes his hand and Chris giggles. He sees Louis roll his eyes and then smile.

“Hello, gentlemen.” He responds, bowing only a little, following through on the joke he and Buck have always done before turning towards Maddie and arching his one eyebrow.

“Louis, this is Howie, my boyfriend. We call him Chimney, though I don’t know why,” Maddie ends up saying with a frown while Buck chuckles and Chim groans slightly.

“It’s a long, sordid story about the woes of being a firefighter around Christmas,” Chim responds, holding his hand out to shake, which Louis takes with a nod.

“Very well, then. I shall meet you all in the foyer. Dinner will be served in forty-five minutes, please do make yourselves comfortable,” Louis says before pausing and pursing his lips, frowning before nodding his head, “And it truly is nice to see you two again. You’ve grown beautifully, and I’m proud of you. Don’t let your parents get to you, alright?”

Both Maddie and Buck nod, their throats tightening. They ran from their parents, and in doing so, ran from the one man who treated them right while they were growing up, bringing them a feeling of shame they didn’t know they could feel. Almost like he could read their minds, though, he gave their shoulders each a squeeze before making his way to the hall closet, no doubt, with their coats.

“I like him,” Eddie states while Christopher giggles.

“Apparently, Chim -- Chimney, they’re rich -- rich enough for a butler!” Almost the entire room snorts at that before they all take a collective breath and Maddie and Buck lead them towards the foyer. He walks slowly, letting the others take everything in, knowing they’ll appreciate it later, while he and Maddie look towards one another with soft smiles. They’ve seen this all before, they know it’s not going to have changed much from when they were growing up, so they don’t bother to look at the details their parents have poured hours into making fit. 

“Here we are,” Buck whispers as they come upon the doors to the foyer, his hand on the knob before he turns towards Maddie, who nods, and then Eddie, who squeezes his other hand. Briefly, he looks at Chris and nods.

“Remember what we talked about, buddy?” He asks, smiling when Christopher nods and straightens his shoulders, looking at Buck with a small smile.

“I do,” he replies and Buck blows out a breath before opening the door, his parents turning towards him with painted on smiles that has Buck tensing briefly.

“Evan, Madeline, welcome home,” Evelyn Buckley greets, stepping forward with her arms wide open and giving the two of them an air hug, with air kisses. She’s wearing a dress similar to the one she wore at the toy drive, but Buck can see more of her back, and unfortunately, more of her front.

When she pulls away, he turns towards Maddie, rolling her eyes before feeling Eddie squeeze his hand even more tightly than before, and turns towards him, narrowing his eyes when he sees his mother greeting Eddie that has him almost seeing red

“Mom,” he says, teeth gritting together as he steps towards Eddie, providing him strength, “This is my fiancee, Eddie, and our son, Christopher,” Buck finishes, breathing carefully as he ignores the way his parents scowl.

“Fiance, huh,” Buck’s dad snorts, arms behind his back and shoulders straight. Buck wants to snap at him, opens his mouth to do so, before --

“And this is my boyfriend, Chi--Howie,” Maddie interrupts, knowing what her brother is thinking and not wanting something to get started this early on. And while Buck is thankful for her interruption, he still finds himself feeling slightly frustrated, wishing he could have stood up on behalf of Eddie, but knowing he’ll probably have more chances to do so later.

“Well, splendid. How about we sit down, and get to know one another better,” Evelyn says, eyes roaming over Eddie’s figure while Buck scowls and Maddie clears her throat. Buck tries his hardest to not growl at his mother, knowing that this is just a normal day for her, and instead, focuses on the feeling of Eddie’s hand in his, Eddie pressed against his side and Christopher next to him, holding onto his arm.

The couches are pristine, which doesn’t surprise Buck, but what does surprise him is the fact that there’s no plastic covering on top, something his parents always made sure to have around when they were younger. Shaking his head, Buck lets out a sigh before going to one of the couches, Christopher sitting next to him and Eddie next to Christopher, his arm coming up immediately to wrap around Chris’ shoulders and rest near Buck’s, calming the man right away.

“So tell me, what is it you do now, Madeline, since you moved to Los Angeles without a ‘hi, how you do,’?” Evelyn questions, grabbing a kettle of tea and pouring some into a glass, then grabbing a sugar cube and Buck - Buck wants to shake his head. His mother is drinking tea and he can’t believe she’s still doing this with them, years later. And even worse for Maddie, who grits her teeth before smiling, their mother is still using their full names, which means their father is more than likely to do the same, and oh boy, Buck is going to enjoy that.

Buck watches, body tense even though Eddie is rubbing the small portion of his back he can get to, to try and calm him down, as Maddie thinks about her response. He knows what it is she’s thinking, because he’s thinking the same thing - their parents wanted them in the medical field, and they were  _ thrilled _ when Maddie went into it as a nurse. Now that she’s no longer practicing, he knows his parents are going to pull the disappointed card on her, something she’s only ever seen done on him and thankfully, never had done on her.

And Buck doesn’t know how to feel about that - because a part of him, a part that he finds himself  _ hating _ , is remembering all of the times growing up that he wished it was  _ her _ who had to experience their father’s biting words, wished they were pointed at her and not him for once. And he feels like he’s reverting to that teenage version of himself in this moment, because he can’t help but wonder what his father will say when they find out. And he hates that about himself right now, because he thought he was  _ better _ than that - he’s tried proving it day in and day out, and now here he is --

“I’m a 9-1-1 dispatcher,” Maddie says, shoulders and back straightening, inadvertently pulling Buck out of the downward spiral he was fast heading towards. Sucking back a breath, Buck turns towards Eddie and smiles, then turning towards Christopher, and running his fingers through his hair before turning back towards Maddie, watching his parents carefully for their reaction, knowing the signs to look for.

His parents take a breath, before looking at one another, talking to one another silently, and Buck -- Buck can feel it coming, though he can’t really explain it. His entire body tenses up again, even as Eddie squeezes his elbow and Christopher snuggles into his side.

“Interesting,” Evelyn says slowly, bringing her tea up to sip from it while Buck arches one of his eyebrows, feeling confused because  _ what _ ? He finds himself opening and closing his mouth, looking between Maddie and his parents before blowing out a breath of frustration, his teenager self feeling vindicated in the knowledge that his parents would have never turned on Maddie the way they did him.

“So, tell me, Evan, why did you allow your sister to stop being a nurse?” His father questions and Buck can’t stop himself from scoffing and shaking his head. A small laugh bubbles out from his throat as his body remains tense, no matter how much everyone around him is trying to do. Briefly, Buck can see Chim looking between Maddie and him in confusion, but he ignores it for now, narrowing his eyes at his father.

“Because she’s her own woman, and I’m not going to even try and control her,” Buck responds after watching his father for a minute, unable to stop the small smirk from forming, “I know better than to try and control people who don’t want to be controlled,” he adds, tilting his head briefly, ignoring the way Maddie lets out a small groan of frustration before whispering his name.

“Impulsive as always then, Evan?” Their father responds, pouring himself a whisky while Buck snorts, tries not to let his father’s words get to him, “It’ll end up hurting you in the end, you know. Everyone will tire of that attitude eventually and leave,” he adds and Buck can’t stop himself from gasping, his entire body becoming rigid while Eddie squeezes his shoulder and Christopher frowns.

“Not us!” He says and Buck wants to let out a small laugh of disbelief over Christopher standing up for him in front of his father, something Buck could never do when he was that age, the little boy just continuing to amaze him by doing so, though. Instead, he smiles at Chris, wraps his one arm around the little boy’s shoulders and brings him into a hug.

“And I am so thankful for that, superman,” he whispers, kissing the top of his head while looking up at Eddie and smiling. Buck ignores the way his father rolls his eyes, choosing to remain happy and focused on his found family, even if it’s only for tonight.

“Well, then. There’s nothing  _ wrong _ about being a dispatcher, of course. It’s not as respectable or productive as being a nurse, mind you, but nonetheless,” Evelyn says softly and Buck can see his sister take a deep breath in and then out, and he nudges her softly with his free elbow, smiling when she looks over at him.

“So, Howie, what is it you do?” Richard Buckley asks, standing tall as he turns towards Chimney, taking another sip from his glass and Buck wants to roll his eyes at the posturing his father appears to be doing, like he wants Chim to find him threatening. It’s something he warned Eddie about, and by the way Eddie hums softly, Buck knows his best friend has taken notice over Chim being the first one to be questioned. Buck wonders if Maddie warned Chim, hopes she did because being caught unaware by his family is something Buck would never wish on anyone.

He looks over to Maddie and Chim briefly, watching them lean into one another, take comfort from each other and something settles down inside of him - he knows Chim’s a good guy and he’s thankful that, after Doug, Maddie found Chim instead and he is able to help her heal.

“I’m a firefighter sir, like Buck and Eddie over there,” Chim responds and Buck grins at him, reaching over to nudge him softly while his heart races inside his chest. His father didn’t know what his career was in, and by the way Richard Buckley’s body becomes tight -- Buck knows his father doesn’t approve.

“Firefighting? A respectable job for a man like yourself, Howie. Of course, Evan, you should be a doctor by now, not doing something frivolous--” Buck stops listening to his dad at this point, rolling his eyes towards Maddie who smirks into her chest while Chim looks at him apologetically. Buck does his best to tell Chimney with his face that it’s fine, but he stops abruptly when he sees his mother glaring at him from her seat.

Buck ends up taking a deep breath, Eddie squeezing his elbow and he finds himself calming down when he feels the pressure before smiling softly and then startling a little when Louis clears his throat by the entrance to the kitchen.

“Dinner is ready, if you are,” Louis says and Buck lets out a small breath, feeling extremely grateful at Louis’ timing, even if nothing too serious was about to be said.

The entire group ends up standing simultaneously, and Buck would laugh if Christopher hadn’t beaten him to the punch, causing Buck to look down and grin at the young boy he’s come to love like Chris is his own son. 

Buck misses the look of disgust his father gives the two of them while he’s leaning forward talking to Chris, Buck beaming as Chris giggles while the two of them walked towards the dining room table. They take their seats quickly, Buck moving the chair out for Christopher before he sits on his left, with Eddie on Christopher’s right. There’s barely enough room with Christopher there, and it’s clear that Buck’s parents decided not to make the table larger like they would have if it had been anyone else bringing a young child, and the thought pisses Buck off irrationally, but he takes a deep breath, grinning at Maddie and Chim across from him, ignoring how his mother sits next to Eddie at one end of the table, leaving his father next to Buck.

Taking another deep breath, Buck waits for the wait staff to fill up their plates, and he doesn’t stop himself from helping them when it comes to Christopher’s plate, knowing that his little man won’t be interested in a lot of the food his parents have prepared. There’s a little bit of everything on Chris’ plate, but the portions are small enough to hopefully, appease his parents.

When he’s satisfied with what Christopher’s plate looks like, he looks over to Eddie, hoping Eddie’s alright and when he sees his best friend nod, Buck lets out a small breath before looking at his plate and grinning at the foods he spots on his plate.

“Looks great, Lou,” he teases softly, eyes wide as Louis grins in response, doing a little bow while Maddie giggles and Christopher places his head on Buck’s arm. Ignoring the way his father frowns, Buck immediately grabs his fork, ready to dig in before his mother clears her throat and he lets out a soft sigh.

“Right. Are we still pretending we do grace?” He mumbles, a swift kick in his leg from his father making him flinch back while Eddie turns to him and frowns. Buck shakes his head, breathing through the pain that runs up and down his leg from the kick, wondering if his father even remembered the fact that he was pinned under a goddamn truck - wondering if he even cared, admittedly, since he never answered Maddie’s calls.

Quickly, grace is said and done, and Buck does his best not to roll his eyes when his father places his hands at his side, before telling them to dig in. He’s always been one for the dramatics, he thinks, grabbing his fork and doing just that, moaning at the food that he grew up  _ loving _ . 

For a little while, everything is silent, the group of people enjoying their food, cutlery clinking across the glass plates in front of them. Buck wants to relax at the table, undo the belt buckle of his pants, but he knows how much his parents would hate that, would chew him out for it, so instead, he just lets out a small groan and takes a sip of his water, smiling when Christopher does the same and Eddie runs his fingers through Christopher’s hair. Throughout the meal, Buck had noticed the obvious amount of flirting his mother had directed towards Eddie, and how uncomfortable it had made his fiance-- no, his best friend, he thinks with a small cringe, breathing through the ache in his heart of the desire to actually call Eddie his fiancee before the thought that catches him causes him to blink in surprise, especially when his mom runs another finger up and down Eddie’s bicep, squeezing it before arching herself forward.

“Mom, could you maybe stop hitting on my fiancee,” Buck eventually says, arching one of his eyebrows at her when she and the entire table freezes while Christopher giggles a little before letting out a small yawn.

“You tired, superman?” Buck asks, voice soft as he runs his own fingers through Chris’ hair, smiling softly when Chris nods and lets out another yawn before shaking his head and moving to grab his water once more. Buck sees Chris’ hand wobbles and helps him hold the glass, kissing the top of Chris’ head when he’s done drinking and smiles thankfully at him before he turns towards Eddie.

“Only my Bucky gets to flirt with you Daddy,” Chris giggles and Buck can’t help the laugh that escapes him, looking towards Chim who had snorted and Maddie who had giggled herself, shaking her head. Buck ignores the way his parents remain silent, or how his mother purses her lips, eyes only on Christopher and Eddie as his grin softens.

“You’re absolutely right, Chris. Only Buck gets to flirt with me,” Eddie responds after what feels like an eternity later, Buck smiling and squeezing Eddie’s shoulder before someone - his father, he thinks - clears their throat awkwardly

“So, Maddie, how did you and Howie end up together when you’re married to Doug?” Buck can see Maddie tense from where he’s sitting and almost immediately, he wishes he was sitting next to her so he could provide her some comfort, but by the motion Chim is making under the table, Buck knows his sister is in good hands - great hands, even, which is something Buck  _ really _ does not want to think about.

The room remains silent, Buck noticing out of the corner of his eye that his mother had poured herself a glass of wine and was swirling it around in the glass, but before he could let himself get too distracted, Maddie eventually answered.

“I left him.” She replied, her answer short, curt, and simple enough that anyone could tell she didn’t want to talk about it. But of course, their parents, being their parents --

“Why on earth would you leave a specimen like Doug Kendall? That man was perfect, in every way,” Evelyn shuddered and Buck couldn’t help but frown and freeze, noticing the look of disgust on Maddie’s face before she changed it.

“And he was also incredibly abusive. And I deserved better than that. So I left him.” She says, placing the cutlery in her grasp down as Chris looks up at his dad and frowns.

“Well, it’s such a shame you left. He was such a wonderful--” Richard begins before Buck growls softly and shakes his head.

“He was an asshole who deserves everything he got coming to him,” Buck whisper snarls at his father, not wanting to swear so loudly in front of Chris.

“Well, maybe that’s what --”

“We should go to the sitting room, have some desert,” Evelyn interrupts, knowing as always, when the two Buckley men were going to knock heads. Buck wants to consider himself thankful that his mother managed to starve off a potential fight, but he knows from past experience that it’s just going to happen sooner rather than later, and the explosion will be deadlier than it would have been if it happened now.

When the group finally reconvene into the sitting room, Buck almost wants to relax when he spotted his favorite chair in the corner. His parents never knew how much he loved climbing into it to read, or study, or even just sit in or try and sleep in, and he’s so grateful it’s still around, that he automatically swoops Christopher up, and plops the two of them down in the chair with giggles ringing throughout.

“Now really,” his father grumbles, but Buck ignores him, arms wrapping around Christopher’s waist as Eddie sits on the couch next to him, Maddie and Chim next to Eddie, his parents taking the love cushion while Louis starts handing out more glasses of water. Buck only accepts one, knowing the glasses are too big for Christopher’s hands, letting Chris know that it’s his and when he wants a sip, to just tap on his hand for him to bring the glass up.

“So, how did you two end up dating and then becoming engaged?” Richard questions, looking towards Buck with a scowl before arching his eyebrow at Eddie, and the two of them look at one another and nod a little. They’re prepared for this, Buck thinks. Buck had hounded Eddie, in a way he didn’t want to, about what to expect from his parents, and this was definitely one of the things they practiced when they could. 

“We met at work - I was new to the station and Buck was --” Eddie begins while Chim snorts and Buck blushes.

“I was jealous immediately because of his dashing good looks,” Buck admits, grinning towards Eddie. They had said they would stick as close to the truth as possible, and Buck knew this was it. And by the way Eddie’s cheeks turned a bright red, and Christopher had giggled into Buck’s shoulder, Buck knew that Eddie caught onto that.

“You were jealous, weren’t you? Trying to act like you were far more superior than me,” Eddie chuckles while Chim snorts.

“He literally told you to respect his superiors, despite you being older, Eddie,” Chim adds while Buck turns red when Maddie gasps in surprise before laughing herself.

“And how did things change?” Louis questions, water pitcher in hand while Eddie chuckles.

“There was a grenade in a guy’s leg and we had to deal with it. Buck was -- he worked really well under pressure, and as a veteran, I appreciated and respected that a lot,” Eddie admits, his voice softening at the end while Buck looks over to Eddie with a small smile on his face, not having known that last bit. His father hums softly when Eddie mentions being a veteran, and Buck knows that the questioning is going to continue.

“Evan was good under pressure?” His father snorts, hands behind his back as Buck finds himself shrinking forward, feeling like a teenager stuck in hell. He doesn’t -- he feels like he can’t escape, even with everyone in his adult life that matters here and trying to help him

He lets out a soft breath when, surprise surprise, his father and mother continue their questioning. They both ask numerous questions, sometimes barraging him and Eddie with them and Buck, but both Buck and Eddie manage to answer them in a way that frustrates his parents, because they’re not getting anything out of them that could be used against them.

“Well, when’s this wedding, and were we ever going to get an invite?” Evelyn asks while Richard snorts and Buck can’t stop the growl that escapes from him at that. It’s been almost an hour since they’ve sat down in the sitting room and started getting questioned and Buck is exhausted - as is everyone else.

“Why would we want an invite to a faggots wedding?” Richard questions, his upper lip curling into a snarl and Buck - Buck has had enough. He’s exhausted, and he doesn’t want Christopher to have to deal with his family any longer - to have to be exposed to his father like how he was while growing up.

“Yeah, you probably wouldn’t have received an invite, since every time Maddie or I tried to get into contact with you, you ignored us,” Buck snaps, carefully trying to shift Christopher’s weight while still holding the glass in his hands before placing the glass down.

“How are --” Buck’s mom begins before Buck lets out another groan.

“I  _ do _ dare, because it’s the truth. Maddie’s  _ husband _ nearly killed her, and then died. She was in the hospital for weeks, and you didn’t come to visit when I tried getting a hold of you,” Buck snaps, shaking his head when Maddie looks at him with wide eyes, Chim’s arm around her, comforting her, “I was pinned under a darn fire truck - made national news with that one - and almost lost my  _ leg _ . I know Maddie tried calling you numerous times, but not once did you answer.” Buck says, his voice catching while Eddie tries to comfort him, arms wrapping around him as he kisses the top of Buck’s head, Buck relaxing into the hold.

“And then I had an embolism, coughed up blood - I know Maddie called you then and where were you, huh? Because it certainly wasn’t in my hospital room,” Buck sobs, feeling like he’s showing his underbelly to everyone in this room, and he  _ hates _ it but he has to make a point here.

“And then I was caught in a tsunami but I bet you didn’t care when I called you, right? The only time you ever even acknowledged me was when I made the biggest mistake of my life and decided to sue the department - only then did you call me back, and that’s because I told you how much money I won,” Buck spat, hands curled into fists at his side as Eddie rubs up and down his back. He’s panting by the time he finally calms down, and he wants to snort when he realizes his parents haven’t said anything in response. With a small scoff and shake of his head, he picks the glass back up when he feels a tap on his hand.

Slowly, Buck brings the cup up to Christopher, letting the kid hold onto the glass as he takes a sip from it, when it happens in slow motion but too fast for Buck to process. The glass falls from his hands and he’s too slow to catch it, too caught up in his thoughts. The moment the glass hits the floor and shatters, Buck cringed back, pulling Christopher with him before checking him over, making sure Christopher didn’t get hurt, smiling softly when Chris nods his head and says he’s fine.

Before he can even do anything though, all hell breaks loose.

“You guys alright?” Eddie asks.

“Let me grab the broom,” Maddie frets, moving towards Louis who had opened the closet immediately to help.

“You cannot be serious Evan? Do you even know  _ how _ to handle anything with care? Or are you still as klutzy as you were when you were a child bastard?” His mother snaps and Buck has to take a deep breath to make sure he doesn’t respond.

“Next time, Evan, tell your cripple of a child to not drop things on my expensive flooring,” Buck hears his father say. His voice isn’t raised, isn’t even  _ loud _ , but Buck recognizes the tone his father has - the tone of a beating coming his way and Buck immediately freezes, his eyes turning into slits as anger runs through his entire body, causing him to shake. He might have let his father beat him when he was younger, but there was no way in  _ hell _ that he was ever going to let Richard Buckley near his kid. He knows he needs to get Christopher out of his arms with how angry he is, and he turns towards Eddie, lifting Chris up as he does so.

“Can you get him outside to the car - I’ll meet you there in a minute or so,” Buck says and Eddie nods with a heated glare towards his father - something that would normally cause Buck to smile but right now, there’s too much fury going through his body that all he finds himself able to do is turn towards his father and scowl.

He notices Chim making his way out the door, shaking one of Louis’ hands, no doubt to help Eddie, and then it’s just him and Maddie and Buck -- Buck steps forward, so he’s right in his father’s face.

“I grew up listening to you tell me I was nothing, nobody, and I was going to go nowhere in life. That I was a bastard child, that you didn’t want me, that I ruined your life and your career. I never stood up for myself but right now? I’m standing up for that little boy. Christopher is the most precious child anyone could ever have the pleasure of meeting. Despite having CP, he doesn’t let anything get him down, or ruin his day or his mood. He is brilliant, intelligent, hilarious and completely precious. He doesn’t let his disability get to him and anyone could have the honor to learn from him. So don’t you  _ dare _ discredit everything that precious child can do in a person’s life because of his disability. You don’t know him, and you  _ never _ will get to know him, which is an unfortunate case for  _ you _ .” Buck snaps, panting by the time he’s done his statement, and he can see the iris’ of his father’s eyes turning black with anger, and for the first time, Buck doesn’t give a shit, because Christopher means  _ everything _ to him, and he wouldn’t ever let someone hurt Chris that way.

“Not having him in your life, is your loss,” Buck says, pointing out towards the door, shaking his head, “And I’m not ever going to try and change your mind, because you don’t deserve him in your life.” He finishes, stepping back with a glare while Maddie squeezes his bicep. She opens her mouth to say something but closes it when their father glared at her, and for once, Buck doesn’t blame his sister, because he knows how her relationship with him was, knows it wouldn’t be easy for her to stand up for him, just once.

“You’re a disgrace, Evan,” Richard ends up saying with a shake of his head and Buck can only shrug his shoulders, not caring for once what his father thinks. “It’s been years since I’ve seen you, and you’re still that snot-nosed bratty teenager who thinks he can get away with whatever because all you’re good for is your looks. You’re not going to stay a firefighter forever because you never stick to one thing, and everyone you know is going to leave you, because there’s nothing worth sticking around for from you,” Richard snaps and Buck tries not to let the words get to him, knows they’re words he’s had repeated all throughout his life.

“That’s not even remotely true, Mr. Buckley,” Eddie says and Buck’s eyes widen in surprise, not realizing his best friend had returned from putting Christopher in the car. When he steps forward, it’s to stand next to Buck, the heat of Eddie’s body causing his heart to speed up, but Buck ignores it, looking at Eddie with wide eyes, unable to believe that not only is someone standing up for him in front of his damn father, but that it’s  _ Eddie _ , of all people, and briefly, Buck realizes he shouldn’t be completely surprised, because what Eddie’s doing is so damn Eddie, that it makes Buck’s heart beat faster in his chest than before.

“Your son is the most caring person I’ve ever met. He puts his entire heart into everyone he meets and everything he’s doing. He will drop  _ everything _ if you ask for help, and he will go out of his damn way to make sure the help you need is available to you, even if you don’t know you need it. He has gone through  _ hell _ , only to come out on the other side stronger than ever, with the support and love he deserves. He’s an amazing firefighter, and an even better human being, despite being raised by the likes of you,” Eddie snaps, shaking his head briefly before smiling softly at Buck, “I am glad, every morning I wake up, for having that man in my life, and in my son’s life. To be able to call him  _ mine _ . He’s right, when he said it’s your loss that you won’t be able to experience our son. But it’s also your loss that you won’t be able to see your son’s growth and character and be proud of that, because of how  _ stupid _ you are,” Eddie finishes, fingers interlacing with Buck’s before he smiles at Maddie and drags Buck out of there, Buck continuing to open and close his mouth in surprise at his best friend, a small noise of protest being made when he hears Maddie shouting at their parents before the door to the home closes.

Eventually, Buck can see the car they came in, Chim standing by while talking to Christopher and he can’t help but stop Eddie from continuing, a small look of confusion on his face.

“Did you mean what you said?” Buck asks, looking down and away while biting the inside of his cheek. When he feels a hand on his cheek, he can’t stop himself from looking up at Eddie, heart pounding inside his chest while his best friend steps closer to him and slowly places a small kiss on Buck’s lips. Unable to stop himself, Buck opens his mouth, tongue moving forward as he intensifies the kiss, feeling Eddie’s hands on his chin before someone clears their throat from behind them.

Jumping apart with red cheeks, Buck chuckles when he spots Maddie with a small smirk, hands on her hips.

“As happy as I am that the two of you have finally gotten your act together, I’m tired and want to go home,” she giggles and Buck, understanding, moves away from Eddie and wraps his arms around his sister. She sinks into the hug, something she’s done since the moment he got tall enough for her to do so, and they stay that way for a minute before breaking apart.

“I don’t know what you said, but thanks, Mads. We’ll see you tomorrow?” Buck asks, smiling when Maddie nods before heading towards Eddie’s car, fist bumping Chim goodnight before getting into the passenger side and letting out a small sigh.

* * *

The drive back to Eddie’s home is quiet, christmas music playing softly in the background as Christopher falls asleep in the backseat. Buck hasn’t let go of Eddie’s hand since they got into the car, afraid that if he does, everything will fall apart and the last little while has all been a dream. When they finally do arrive at Eddie’s home though, he lets out another sigh before turning to look at his best friend, cheeks becoming a dark red when he sees Eddie already looking at him with a softness in his eyes he’s seen before but only wished to be directed at him.

“Hi,” Buck whispers, tucking his chin down into his chest when Eddie smiles and says hi back, his thumb caressing a spot on Buck’s hand that has him shivering.

“We should go inside, get Chris to bed and then talk, shouldn’t we?” Buck asks, smiling when Eddie nods his head.

“Can Bucky put me to bed, Daddy?” Chris mumbles, both men turning towards him and softening when they see Christopher with his eyes barely opened, hugging himself while trying to look at them.

“Of course, superman,” Eddie responds, squeezing Buck’s hand. The next little while has both Eddie and Buck too busy to really talk - Eddie changing out of his suit and then helping Chris change out of his while Buck does the same before Eddie grabs the story book Buck normally reads to Chris once he’s moved towards the bed.

“I’m going to make us some hot chocolate, Buck. Night, Christopher,” Eddie whispers, kissing the top of Chris’ head before leaving the room, Chris mumbling good night to Eddie while Buck sits down next to him and begins to open the book, pausing when he feels Christopher’s hand on his own.

“M’sorry I dropped the glass early - earlier, and had your father say mean things,” Chris whispers and Buck feels his heart fall to his stomach and shakes his head, placing the book on the nightstand before wrapping his arms around Chris and hugging him.

“Christopher, that was not your fault, alright? I don’t want you to blame yourself for one moment. I wasn’t paying attention, and I couldn’t hold onto the glass. My father had no right to yell, or say mean things, and I hope you don’t take a word he says as truth,” Buck whispers, watching the way Christopher frowns before he snuggles into his side.

“What -- What did he mean when he -- he said that word?” Chris asks and Buck can feel the dread and terror pooling in his stomach, because how is Buck supposed to answer that without making his little superman feel even  _ worse _ . 

After staying silent for a minute or two, Buck lets out a soft breath, kissing the top of Christopher’s had. “It’s a terrible word used to make people who have disabilities like your own feel like they’re not important, like they’re not worthy of love. It’s used to bring them down, and make them insecure, and it is a  _ cruel _ word, buddy,” Buck whispers. He feels Chris nod into his stomach and rubbed his back before eventually, Chris has fallen asleep and Buck slowly makes his way out from under Chris, tucking him in and then shutting the door a bit, smiling when he sees the little dude burrow under the blanket.

When he finally makes it to the kitchen, he’s not surprised to get handed a steaming mug of hot chocolate from Eddie and Buck takes a sip, humming happily as he does so, letting the tension drain from his body completely as his eyes close. He doesn’t jump in surprise when arms wrap around his waist and Eddie places his head on Buck’s shoulder, just leans into the touch with a soft huff of breath before looking at Eddie.

“Everything alright?” Eddie asks and Buck -- Buck has no idea where to begin, answering that. The day has exhausted him, emotionally and physically, since it was such a long one and Christmas Eve, at that. Then there was the fact that tomorrow was Christmas, and he had a dinner to go to - sure, a dinner he was looking forward to more than anything, but after today, all he really wanted to do was ---

“I’m exhausted, man,” Buck whispers, eyes slipping shut once more while Eddie hums into his neck. He feels at ease in Eddie’s arms, even after the day he’s had, and the conversations he’s been through, a soft sigh escaping from him as he thinks about Christopher’s question before he fell asleep

“Chris asked what my father meant when he said cripple earlier,” Buck whispers, shaking his head before setting the mug of hot chocolate down and turning in Eddie’s arms with a small groan. “I hate my father for even putting that word into Chris’ vocabulary,” Buck groans, Eddie’s one arm coming up so he can run his fingers through his hair.

“It sucks, but Chris is strong, and I have no doubt that you eased whatever was on his mind,” Eddie whispers while Buck nods, removing away from Eddie so he can finish his hot chocolate and then rinse the mug, letting out a soft moan when Eddie steps up behind him and kisses the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

“We should go to bed,” Eddie whispers into the crook of his neck and Buck -- Buck really wants to, but he also knows he needs to talk about what’s going on between the two of them -- needs to clear everything up before he even thinks about sleeping.

“We should,” Buck says, pulling away from Eddie and turning once more so that they’re facing one another.

“But I need to know what this is -- what --” Buck begins before blowing out a breath of frustration, squeezing Eddie’s hand when his best friend laces their fingers together.

“Buck. I love you. I’m  _ in love _ with you. I’ve wanted to take you out and kiss you and wake up with you in my arms for far too long.” Eddie says, stepping into Buck’s space and wrapping his arms around Buck’s neck, bringing him in to kiss him once more, lightly. Buck can almost feel himself getting lost in the kiss, but before it can progress to anything further than what they’re doing, Eddie pulls away while Buck lets out a small whimper, leaning their foreheads against one another while breathing each other in.

“I want to spend forever with you, Evan Buckley. And I want to be able to have you wake up in my arms, man. But what I really want, right this second, is to go to bed with you and just let the day fade away,” Eddie adds and Buck lets out a tiny snort, shaking his head at how cheesy his best friend is before moving forward and kissing him.

This kiss is passionate, both opening their mouths immediately, tongues battling one another before someone moans, flushing their bodies together. Buck can feel himself harden against Eddie, can feel Eddie harden against him, and just the feeling of the two of them together has Buck wanting  _ more _ , in ways he didn’t think he could want right this second, his hands travelling to just above Eddie’s waist, hovering above the fabric of his pajama bottoms. 

Breaking away, the two men pant, Eddie moving to leave open mouthed kisses upon Buck’s neck while Buck thrusts forward, fingers moving to tug lightly on Eddie’s hair.

“Damn, I am so thankful you decided to grow your hair back out, Eds,” Buck chuckles, slowly moving the two of them backwards, trying to make his way to Eddie’s bedroom while Eddie lets out his own laugh, biting the juncture between Buck’s shoulder and neck, a spot Buck is fast learning to be one of Eddie’s favorite spots to get to.

The two continue to make out before they eventually find their way to Eddie’s room, entering it and closing the door quietly as to make sure they don’t wake Christopher up. When they finally make it to Eddie’s bed, Buck just manages to take his shirt off and throw it somewhere before he drags his body up the bed, grinning at Eddie who has taken his own shirt off and has begun to climb up  _ Buck _ , and Buck --

Buck doesn’t stop himself from surging forward, kissing Eddie once more, a moan breaking free as Eddie places their bodies together so everything is touching. He curses the fact that he’s still wearing pants, curses the fact that in order to take them off, he’d have to stop touching Eddie, so instead, he breaks away panting, arching his body upwards while Eddie and he gyrate against one another.

He knows the two of them are going to have to calm down eventually, especially as their moans become louder when they begin kissing one another once more, no doubt breaking through the barrier of the doors. His fingers run through Eddie’s hair again, tugging lightly as he thrusts upwards, Eddie gasping as his eyes flutter, lips pulling away from Buck, causing the younger man to whine.

“Fuck, Buck,” Eddie moans, arching himself upwards before leaning down to kiss Buck’s neck again, his hands roaming Buck’s upper body, tweaking his nipple, which only causes the sensitivity Buck feels to run rampant, his balls tightening inside his pants.

“Eddie,” he whimpers, shaking his head before gasping when Eddie sucks on his neck, biting it briefly before pulling away, grinning when Buck begins panting, a wet spot forming in his pants, causing him to scowl slightly.

“Haven’t done that since I was a teenager,” he groans, rubbing his face before he relaxes against the bed, grinning when he notices Eddie’s own wet spot forming.

“I know the feeling,” Eddie responds with a chuckle, lying down next to Buck and trying to calm his breathing, arms wrapping around Buck’s body, feet rubbing Buck’s calves languidly. 

“We should get changed into something more comfortable,” Buck ends up whispering, looking at the time and was surprised to see it’s nearing eleven in the evening. He can feel Eddie hum in response against his chest and can’t stop himself from smiling, leaning forward to kiss the top of Eddie’s head before moving from his spot on the bed and heading towards the dresser where he’s kept a few spare clothes for far too long now. He can feel Eddie’s gaze on him and quickly, he turns around with a small smirk, trying to ignore the heat that courses through his body at Eddie’s gaze.

“Unless you want to wake up all sticky and gross, Christopher jumping on you since it’s Christmas, I suggest changing while I’m in the bathroom,” Buck teases, throwing Eddie some of his own clothes, causing his best friend to laugh and tilt his head in acknowledgement. When Buck is finally done changing and cleaning himself, he makes his way back to Eddie’s bed and feels a rush of adrenaline and love run through him at the sight of Eddie waiting for him, only one lamp on in the room.

He wants to spend every day of his life going to bed like this, he thinks, crawling in next to Eddie with a smile, arms wrapping around him after Eddie turns off the light. 

“Night, boyfriend,” Buck whispers, grinning when Eddie hums and says the same, the two eventually falling asleep while holding one another, which is exactly what they’ve dreamed about for who knows how long.

* * *

The next morning, Buck isn’t surprised one bit to find himself being awoken by a giggling and shouting Christopher, Eddie grinning at him from under the blankets. Leaning forward, Buck kisses Eddie quickly before removing his arms from Eddie’s waist and sitting up, a small evil chuckle escaping from him as Christopher screeched in surprise.

“BUCKY!” Chris laughs, surging forward after a moment, arms wrapping around him in a hug. “Merry - merry Christmas Bucky. You stayed!” He says after a moment and Buck laughs, lifting Christopher up and twirling him.

“Of course I did, superman,” he laughs. “Wouldn’t be anywhere else other than with my favorite boys,” Buck adds, winking towards Eddie who is sitting up and laughing.

“Are you staying to open - open gifts with us, Buck?” Chris asks while the two of them make their way to the main room of the home, Buck flicking on the kettle and the lights for the Christmas tree as he nods.

“Absolutely, bud,” He answers, grinning towards Chris before setting him down on the sofa and preparing three mugs of hot chocolate for Eddie, Christopher and himself as Eddie begins to organize the gifts in front of the tree in three piles.

The morning between the three of them went by at a perfect pace for Buck, between opening presents with Christopher to having breakfast and finishing their hot chocolate. Buck feels like the morning in general is perfect, even after everything that’s happened the day before. They stay in their pajamas well into the afternoon, eventually playing with Christopher and his new toys, stealing kisses every once in a while, with Christopher giggling and cheering when he finally does notice.There is nowhere Buck would rather be than in the Diaz home, celebrating with his two favorite boys, but eventually, it slowly becomes closer to five in the afternoon and Buck knows if they don’t show up at Bobby and Athena’s for Christmas Dinner, Athena will have their hides.

The three of them get ready, sometimes letting themselves get distracted by each other, or their gifts or just their environment in general before eventually, they’re getting into Eddie’s car and driving over to Bobby and Athena’s home, completely relaxed, unlike the previous night.

The drive over doesn’t take long, the three of them all playing car games while they wait through the traffic they get stuck before they eventually arrive at the home of their Captains, chuckling when Buck realizes that they arrived at the same time as Maddie and Chimney again.

Buck doesn’t spare any time before he goes towards his sister, arms wrapping around her and squeezing her a little before he grins. “Merry Christmas, sis,” he grins, squeezing her shoulders once more while Maddie returns the sentiments. 

“How was your morning?” Buck asks, joining his arm with Maddie’s while they begin to walk towards the door. He can see Chimney and Eddie up ahead, slowing down to walk with them, Chimney going to Maddie’s side and Eddie going to Buck’s, and Buck looks around with a small frown.

“Where’s---”

“Already inside. Athena saw us pull up and let him go in,” Eddie answers and Buck finds himself nodding, a small smile on his face as they enter the home and go down the steps, carefully juggling their gifts for everyone.

“Presents on that table over there, gentlemen,” Athena states, pointing to a plastic table in the corner that Buck has no problem going to, placing the gifts on top carefully with a grin and a nod of his face. He can smell the food Athena has cooking, and his stomach grumbles with hunger and excitement, his grin becoming a little more blinding as he turns around and says hello to everyone.

The next little while goes by fast for Buck as he talks to everyone at various points, saying hello to Hen and Karen and then talking to Michael about the similarity of their parents, something Buck never thought he’d be willing enough to talk about. He gets caught under the mistletoe by  _ Josh _ , of all people, turning bright red when Josh places a platonic kiss on his lips with a smirk while Maddie cackles and Eddie smirks.

“I thought - thought only Daddy got to kiss you, Bucky?” Christopher asks afterwards, everyone roaring at that, wondering when on earth that had happened, while Buck just turned more red.

“Yeah, but when it comes to Mistletoe, it’s alright to kiss other people if they’re alright with it and you respect their boundaries,” Eddie ends up whispering with a small wink towards Buck, who's trying to answer Hen and Athena about what happened that had the two of them finally getting their so-called acts together.

After a few minutes of teasing, dinner is ready and the entire group manages to sit down without causing too many problems. They don’t plan on opening gifts until after dinner, which Buck doesn’t mind as they all begin eating. 

The dinner is enjoyable - everything about tonight is so enjoyable that Buck doesn’t find himself thinking about anything else going on in his life, instead just laughing with everyone he’s with, stealing kisses from Eddie when he stands up to grab more food, or drink, or do something else, ignoring how everyone coos and awes when that does happen.

Buck might have had to experience one hell of a day yesterday, and he knows he’ll end up dealing with his insecurities making a comeback after that fact, but for once, he doesn’t mind. Even when they start opening gifts, Eddie and Chris leaning against Buck, the dark environment making Buck drowsy - Buck finds himself the happiest he’s ever been, with no urge to change anything. Looking towards Eddie and Chris, he slowly begins to tune everything out, the laughter from everyone else becoming background noise.

Yesterday was hell, he thinks, but he wouldn’t change anything about it because he’s come to realize that his family - his family are the people he’s spending time with right now, and not the people who raised him and that?

That was beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me [on my tumblr](https://smartbuckley.tumblr.com/ask) because I would love to hear your thoughts on this piece. Comments and constructive criticism are definitely appreciated on this one.


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